Celebrating #InternationalWomensDay2019

NEW TRACK - CIRCLE - Click on the Rose to Listen!

Celebrating International Women's Day 2019 A circle of women may just be the most powerful force known to humanity.  - Jeanette LeBlanc Every year I release a track to celebrate #IWD2019 as my way of widening the circle of support for Women  This blog comes with a track, Circle, written in support of the work of the charity The Circle, working to empower women worldwide which I first performed at our special #ChaiDay event in November. I also warmly invite you to join our amazing gathering of wonderwomen at our IWD2019 Croydon Celebration 10th March at The Oval Tavern 4-6.30pm. Honouring the Diversity of Women's Circles A sphere is made up of not one, but an infinite number of circles; women have diverse gifts, and to say that women's sphere is the family circle is a mathematical absurdity. - Marie Mitchell Historically, in patriarchy, the traditional woman's role was to orbit around men. Today intersectional feminism campaigns for the recognition that women's circles are infinite and must be inclusive and responsive to the complex ways different forms of discrimination overlap, combine or intersect.  Taking pay parity as an example, women with disabilities face a 22% pay gap and 35% are paid under the National Living Wage.  Among female graduates, black women face the biggest pay penalty, of £1.62 an hour (9%.) Transgender women can expect to see a wage drop of a third after transitioning. Claiming the Centre of the Circle A woman is the full circle. Within her is the power to create, nurture and transform - Diane Mariechild To stand in the centre of her own circle and exert her own influence is for many women, a radical act that requires defiance of the social conditioning and discrimination she faces daily.   The room of one's own that Virginia Woolf could claim as one of the Bloomsbury elite is not available to many women around the world.  There is however the inner room in the inner life of a woman that is hers and hers alone.  When a woman claims the strength with her and has access to circles of support, she can recover and transform challenges - such as Bina, who escaped a violent marriage in India.  It is so important that we continue to widen and celebrate the circles within and around women. Singing the Circle The circles of women around us weave invisible nets of love that carry us when we're weak, and sing with us when we are strong. - Sark I am so grateful for the circles of women I have in my life. I am proud, inspired and excited to be living and working alongside amazing women leaders.  Close to home, my sister, Sally Phillips has just been made Chief Inspector of North Herts Police Force - and last year helped secure a groundbreaking conviction of coercive control in a domestic abuse case.  In my professional life, I am surrounded by female leaders who play all out and use their many talents to make a difference in the world - choir conductors, composers, singers, musicians, councillors, therapists, teachers, writers.  When women team up magic happens - one example is the mass choral fundraising project Sing for Water pioneered by composer Helen Chadwick with events led across the country by a majority of female choir leaders with many wonderful male allies. Creating a circle of shared purpose, women can take a stand for and with each other and send ripples out into the world.   Wishing you a wonderful International Womens Day 2019

Claiming the Voice of Self Love

Claiming the Voice of Self Love Well ordered self-love is right and natural - St Thomas Aquinas Our capacity for self-love is one of the baselines of our existence, determining how well we take care of ourselves mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually and how we show up in our relationships and interactions with others.  Self love colours our self-expression - both inwardly and outwardly.   We can claim the power of our voices to build a healthy sense of self-love which naturally enhances and enriches our relationships and contribution to the world. Loving Self Talk Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love - Brene Brown Our self-talk is the barometer and indicator of our self-love.  Constant self-denigration and negation will show up in self-destructive behaviours such as addictions, dysfunctional relationships or disconnection from our true purpose.  Our life shifts powerfully when we lovingly care for the wounded aspects of ourselves and choose self-talk which supports us to care for ourselves and reach our higher potential.  In many traditions, we find vocal phrases, mantras and prayers dedicated to guiding us back to a healthy sense of self-love  balanced with our love for others - eg Namaste, Love Thy Neighbour As Thy Self.  Hypnotherapist Marisa Peer identifies 'I am Not Enoughness' as 'the biggest disease affecting humanity' and has dedicated January 5th as #IAmEnough Day, urging people to affirm I am Enough inwardly and outwardly to themselves.  She describes how doing this puts us in a state of balance - the middle of the see-saw - instead of feeling either More or Less Than.   I find the phrase I am that I am very helpful to remind myself that I simply am, without any need for justification or self-aggrandisement, I am simply here breathing just like every other living thing.  This peaceful state is found in the centre of every breath, in the gaps between our thoughts, in the stillness of the heart that just IS.  Practices like yoga, pilates, creative arts, exercise, martial arts, meditation, prayer etc can help bring us back into equilibrium and loving connection with ourselves.  Honouring Self Value and Values Values are like fingerprints. Nobody's are the same, but you leave 'em all over everything you do - Elvis Presley Many of us have been conditioned to prove ourselves and our value by jumping through social circus hoops.  We are taught to quantify our worth by fickle measuring sticks including our bank balance, body image, status symbols, job titles, qualifications, social media likes etc. To affirm our own inherent value is a radical stand, a refusal to play the game and instead to commit to loving who we are and what we can bring to the world. Staying connected to our values - that which we hold dear and aspire to live by - keeps us tuned to our self worth.  If you list your core values, you will see the reflection of your qualities - the kindness, love, empathy, trust, creativity, joy you wish to embody in the world. James Clear in his book Atomic Habits demonstrates that behaviour change comes from a shift in our identity - who we believe ourselves to be. For example someone who identifies as a healthy person will adopt certain habits (eg going to the gym) and drop other habits (eg smoking) which are not in alignment with this sense of themselves. When we value ourselves we are able to state and meet our needs in a clear healthy way and to respect those of others. Knowing our own values also enables us to make clear steers as we navigate life and where we draw our personal lines. Truthful Self Love Truth is by nature self-evident. As soon as you remove the cobwebs of ignorance that surround it, it shines clear. - Ghandi Having a strong sense of who we are and declaring it to ourselves and others enables us to stay aligned to our truth.  There are often many cobwebs of social conditioning to dust away which obscure our vision of ourselves.  When we notice repeated unhealthy patterns showing up in our lives it's time to get out  the duster - or in some extreme cases a blow torch! :)  Rather than blaming and shaming ourselves, we can have compassion for our woundedness and lovingly shine a light on what has obscured our clarity.   As the process of soul searching can be challenging, it's important to take support from a mentor, coach, counsellor or loving friends to witness us as we come back to ourselves.  Creative arts can also help us come back into connection with a sense of the truth of who we are at this moment in our journey.  Painting, drawing, singing, dancing, writing, playing - these are all are the voice of self-love in action.  Finding and expressing self-love becomes an adventure - not a destination - a life-long project of learning about ourselves. Self Love as Service When you show up for yourself you can show up for the world more completely - Gabi Bernstein When we commit to ourselves and to living a life anchored in our true values this naturally extends towards others.  Contrary to what many of us were taught, self-love is not selfish - it actually enables us to give, do and be more in the world.  When we top up on self-care - be that healthy sleep, diet, exercise - we give from an overflowing cup.  The truth of ourselves, when voiced and allowed to shine, can uplift, inspire and illuminate the lives of those around us.  We can embody and express our service to the world through joyful, authentic sharing of our gifts, talents, ideas, energy, enthusiasm and kindness.  Aligning with those who share our core values becomes natural.  As we claim our own voice of self-love, we become a stand for self-love in others and in the world. Wishing you a Self-Loving February!